What is real?

How can I know if thinking is not a way of facing reality?
Sometimes I feel cheated when I change my mind and start to feel totally different.
My husband is sometimes aggressive with me. For a long time, I have been thinking about leaving it, but when we are well, it is so beautiful that I do not leave it. Since I heard your podcast, I’ve been thinking “I love him, he’s perfect for me”. My experience improved a lot because I do not think all the time I have to leave it, which makes me very anxious. But he is still very aggressive. I do not know if I should continue to change my thinking to feel better or if I should face a separation even if it is painful and it scares me. Thanks for clarifying