what the what?

Hello, first time question to you from newly obsessed Scholar who can’t wait for her next coaching session so asking in this forum as first foray into getting more help with my Models. The answers to previous questions have been amazing and so helpful. Thank you.

I’ve been an emergency nurse for 22 years, I counsel patients on quitting smoking and other ways to improve health. I am currently buffering (like as we speak), and just had a profound moment. I’m currently working through the Stop Overdrinking curriculum (life-changing, by the way, thank you), and have been studying the three videos on the Model, part 1-3.  Life-changing. But, I digress.

In the third video, Brooke asks us to do a model on the thing that is bothering us the most right now. Well, I blurted out in my mind: I can’t quit smoking!” It was loud and clear. It took me a minute to figure out that it was a thought and not a circumstance. I had to coddle my learned powerlessness over this habit for a bit, no biggie, just took a minute. When I put it in my notebook, my model looks like this:

C: Cigarettes exist in the world (did I do this right?)
T: I can’t quit smoking. I’m a hypocrite for supposedly promoting health and I reek of cigarettes, I’ve tried everything. I’m just an addict, that’s what we do. I’ve always smoked. I’m a smoker. I need it for stress relief, I have a high stress job, I’m powerless over my addiction. I always fail when I try to quit.
F: Shame, shame, shame, guilt, despair, frustration, anger,
A: Smoke more. Always have them there and ready. Smoke as soon as I am awake, and throughout the times I wake up while I’m sleeping. Chain-smoke on my breaks at work. Don’t eat food because it interferes with my time smoking.
R: Early emphysema diagnosis. Shortness of breath. Inability to climb up stairs without breathing hard. Stinking of cigarettes. Proving that cigarettes can have control of me. Always feeling guilty for failing. Wasted money. Wasted life.

So, in my intentional model, I have thought about what I could reasonably believe and what has been tickling at my soul with what I know is the most purest truth:

C: Cigarettes exist in the world.
T: I’m so glad that I don’t have to smoke right now. My lungs crave clean air. I love myself soooooo much, that I don’t want to harm my body. Letting cigarettes go used to seem so hard, I wish I had known how easy it was all along. It feels so good to experience life and be in tune with my own vibe. I’m excited about the possibility of teaching others how to transform their thoughts around “addiction”. I’m so excited for my future that I don’t have the time to waste thinking about smoking. It’s a nothing.
F: Empowered (I’m owning this word now, it’s mine). Proud. Excited. Thankful. Relieved. Humbled. All of it.
A: Present this Model in “Ask a Coach” Do the work required to understand the content being learned. With courage, and empowerment and excitement!
R: Transition from emergency nursing to life coach specializing in helping healthcare workers thrive under burnout, stress, etc, and buffering behaviors. (previously known as “addictions”. Gather an online following and take future action toward whatever I can dream of. (I dream big). Forever learning. Dream come true.

Thank you for your response.