I haven’t been wanting to have sex that much with my husband. He prefers to go straight to the act. Sometimes I’m not aroused enough and am still dry, making it uncomfortable and even painful. Sometimes we’ll use lube to help, but I still don’t find it to be as comfortable as my own lubrication.

I’ve asked for more foreplay before penetration, but we don’t have a want match here (he stated his reasons). I’m trying to figure out how I want to proceed from here.

A solution is to stop having sex with him. But I have lots of thoughts/questions/judgements to work through, including:
– Can we be in a sexless marriage and be a happy couple in a healthy marriage? — especially if he still wants it?
– I love having sex, and would be sad not to
– I’m scared I’m going to want to cheat on him if we’re not sleeping together.

Another solution is to continue sleeping with him, and accept the discomfort. But this doesn’t seem ideal to me.

I know my brain is my most powerful arouser. I can work on my thoughts to become more quickly aroused, but I wonder if that’s enough?

What else should I be considering? How else can I look at this situation?