When a Why Behind Action is Avoiding a Feeling


Quote from a book that I am reading “For example, recall the last time you ate something rich and tasty to get rid of feelings of stress, boredom, or anxiety. Chances are, it wasn’t all that satisfying. However, did you ever eat that very same food, not to get rid of bad feelings, but purely and simply to enjoy it and appreciate its taste? I bet you found that much more fulfilling.”

So when I find myself during my meals, say I do not have a protocol for them, sometimes I have doubt whether to eat more or stop. There is some tension in my body. So, I may ask am I trying to avoid a feeling here? (hurry, boredom, doubt, worry). If the answer is yes, you suggest that this is enough to stop eating?

Sometimes I might have worry “I am afraid I will end up overeating without a protocol” even before the start of the meal, but that does not seem a good reason to not eat. Same with doubt coming from “T: Should I eat one more bite or not?” -> F: tense. In front of this feeling both A: eat more or A: stop eating could be seen as a way to avoid the feeling

Similarly, with exercise:
T: I gained a few pounds
F: dissatisfied
A: work out

In this example I am using work out as a way to move beyond dissatisfaction, so would you say this is not a good reason and I had better not exercise? What about all those situations where I might have multiple co-existing whys at the same time, like getting over dissatisfied, but also because I have a genuine desire of feeling healthy and having a tone muscular body, is here still the “recommendation” to refrain from the action till we are all aligned with one single T->F without conflicts? I’d be very glad to receive your feedback around this, thanks a lot