we were working on a project around the house…i have a blown disc in my back. I was helping despite a lot of pain. At one point I needed to lift something and I couldn’t.

My husband said “what are you an invalid?” “And then he said, well yes that makes sense because if you break that word down you really are in-valid ( i.e., not valid.)

So….i bit my tongue because I know I cannot change him. I don’t want to rely on my manual for how he should behave.

But is there a point where I express my feelings about that comment? How do I not change him yet also honor myself? The put downs are a daily event.