^When rebellion strikes

hi Brooke

I was doing quite well until I realised I haven’t stopped buffering. Now I’m sliding quietly backwards. It’s clear that my early childhood fears still dominate my thoughts. I’m currently feeling like a squashed bug and having difficulty getting my models to sound right. I do the intentional part, but I’m not really getting behind it. I’m just writing it down, going back to work and forgetting all about it. I’ve also had to resort to bridging thoughts.

Yesterday I had a banana on the bench and had 7 urges to eat it that I allowed during the day, but eventually I ate the damn thing along with some chocolate and a power bar.

I feel like I’m glossing over the work, not doing it thoroughly.

Today I have decided not to buffer at all and I’m feeling extremely nervous, tense, anxious, nauseous, headache. Not for any good reason.

When rebellion strikes – how can I keep the faith?