When someone continually blames you

I was taking on the F line for other people and especially my husband in the past. He would say and do things, but say it was due to me that he did it. I usually would apologize and resent later. Now due to this work I know he was passing on his power to me. Now I see when he does this. What do I say when he continually says: “I said what I did and did what I did because of your reaction. You were upset therefore I yelled. You started it.”

I no longer will buy into this.

I am saying, “I’m sorry; I don’t own your actions” and it is not going well. Is there a way to stand up to someone who has done and said this to you for years?  He also does not like how I have changed. (2 months of learning)
Tips other than downloads. Tips to words I can say to stay grounded.