When someone in the C line has passed

What do you do in the T line when the person involved is no longer alive?
I can’t figure out the ladder thoughts to dig out when I start swirling down.

C – Dad was (really really) abusive & violent to the immediate family.
T – Why did he do this to his family? Then re-think bad situations over and over in my mind.
F – Scream. (or maybe now frustration?)
A – Many hours of mind-traffic-jam-time blaming/complaining about what he did in the past, therefore not doing other things that I should be doing.
R – I see that he still has power and control over me, even though he’s passed. (how messed up is that?)