When thoughts are too hard to change.

When do I give myself allowance to think the negative thoughts about a person and respect my thoughts about him to allow myself to leave?

This sounds silly cause feelings should be ok to experience, right? and if we can’t change our thoughts even thou they do not serve us, we should respect them, right?

I find myself waiting for a change since my husband tells me he wants to and will change ( in many ways) I know a person can’t change unless they want to but since I hear the words I wait and wait and hope. There is no change from his part but I have changed a lot.

I am working on letting go an accept and quit feeling resentment and blame him since I love him and understand part of his reasons I know I can let go of the blame and resentment that I feel but now I am dealing with giving myself permission to leave him. My thoughts are still negative because if I decide to stay I would have to try to change my thoughts about the circumstances and I am not willing to change them cause it wouldn’t serve me in a positive way.

If I had the power to change my thoughts about the circumstance so I could feel different it would serve the situation better, It would serve my husband better and our son, even me in a way since I wouldn’t have to face the uncomfortable thought about divorce. But ultimately I think it really would not serve me at all.

How do I justify my thoughts and feelings when others will be affected so negatively so that my thought about that gives me the feeling of being so selfish.

Can you point me to a workbook from a previous month that talks about becoming strong within or something like that.