When Thoughts Don’t Impact Circumstances Or Results

I’m 2 months into scholars. And constantly find myself confused about how changing thinking about a circumstances doesn’t change the circumstance and sometimes doesn’t change the result. I just watched a woman who was frustrated that her husband doesn’t play an equal role in their marriage. And the answer was to change the way she should think – it isn’t about him. He can do what he does. You need to think differently. But…the laundry needs to be done. And the dishes. And a bunch of other household tasks. Even if she changes her thoughts about how it’s fine for him not to do any of those things, she’s still doing all of them – circumstance and result are the same. Because some has to. Then I read about someone with insomnia. (Me too!!) her thought was frustration about how unfair it was. The solution offered was to think about what if it isn’t a big deal to wake up at 2 am. But it is. Because a chronic lack of sleep is a reality…a result. And irregardless of how one thinks about it, it has an impact. So…I guess I am struggling to understand how changing thoughts on circumstances is helpful at all. The circumstances are the same. In some cases, where one’s thoughts don’t directly drive the result (laundry is or is not done, one is chronically tired or not), I am not seeing the benefit of the program or modeling.