When to address the thought to feel better and when to leave the feeling as is and go from there

Sometimes Brooke coaches people on accepting their thoughts and feelings and then choosing more useful thoughts, focusing on how our thoughts create our feelings and we Choose our thoughts. Other times she says to accept the feeling as just part of being human and go from there. When should we do which?

For instance, she coaches on anxiety being part of the human experience for some or most of us and carrying it around like a purse. But doesn’t that mean we must be choosing thoughts that make us anxious? Why not work on identifying and not choosing the thoughts that make us anxious if the anxiety isn’t serving us?

At other times she coaches on the thought patterns causing an emotion.

In essence, why are some feelings considered “accepting reality” and others focused on more as something to change by managing thoughts?