When To Leave

I’m in a relationship with a person who uses a manual, and uses put downs and verbal abuse to motivate compliance with the manual. Using the model I’m able to produce thoughts which help me line up with this situation. T: Criticism and abuse is more about the other person than about me. F: Indifference. Having lined up with the situation I wonder if I should leave the relationship. Given that I can line up with any situation leaving becomes a choice. I can line up and stay. Or I can line up and leave and be with someone else who requires less lining up. How do I choose? Let’s say I define a boundary and the boundary is repeatedly violated. How do I choose between (a) lining up with the violations and staying or (b) lining up with the violations and leaving.