When to leave


I’ve been in scholars for 6 months, and one of the reasons I joined was to improve my relationships. I’ve listened several times to the recent live coaching session with Brooke and the coaching she did with a woman who talked about her relationship with her husband. I felt a lot of similarities with my circumstances. I’m married, have 2 kids, and have been caught in the cycle of thinking that my life would be better if he was different and if we were no longer together.

I’ve heard from Scholars the message that you don’t leave until you get to a point where you are happy where you are and that I’m no longer wishing he was different or expecting him to be different. I realize that I haven’t reached a point where I could leave him tomorrow or next week. I do still want him to be different and I don’t even really like him, but I know he doesn’t need to change in order for me to feel differently.

I also don’t know that I want to improve our relationship to where I feel like I like being with him. Right now we both work full time, and at the end of the day we are busy with kids and a routine. It’s gotten to the point where we are more like roommates. It’s working and it’s the easiest scenario because I don’t have to worry about co-parenting or not seeing my kids for only half of the time.

I’ve also heard the message from some of the coaching sessions that when you say yes to the thing that seems scary, or there’s some fear but it’s more like excitement and nervousness, this is when you expand and grow. So my question is about leaving, I guess right now even though I fantasize how great my life would be if I was on my own, it’s not time to leave because this is more like the grass is greener thinking rather than fear/nervousness over a new choice. Hopefully, you can provide some input.