I am in a job currently which started in July this year. I don’t need the job for financial reasons but I have big ambitions of using my skills/experience for social impact and hence took it up. Also, this job helped me have ‘something to say’ when asked by people what I do, almost like a cover story. It is a relatively easy 9-5 job, and I can still do my self-coaching after work (background – I always felt judged by dad, friends, siblings that I sat at home with my big degrees, wasting my time looking after kids, and never felt enough. I have an ambitious nature but feel stuck, so tried making my mark in the social sector, but after one big stint now am feeling stuck again).

However, I have since had a nagging thought that this role is too ‘junior’ a role for me, and even though the overall project and ambition is great for the charity (reason why I joined), I feel I could be doing something bigger and more impactful. Also, I have immersed myself in self-coaching scholars since July. I am loving how it has helped my own thoughts, and am wondering if I could create a bigger impact in the world by being a coach.

Now that I am thinking about it seriously, I feel working in this job is not serving me as much and I could use the time instead to do certification etc. Also, I cannot bring myself to focus on the work as my mind is constantly on business plans for coaching already!! I would like to quit, but then worry about what I will say to people. I only want to share publicly that I am a coach after I get a certification (worried about ridicule, about failing, being judged for again starting something new and not making up my mind). This is my model.

C: Quitting my job
T: If I quit my job, I will not have a cover story for telling everyone what I do. I will sound boring, and good for nothing again.
F: Nervous, scared
A: Will keep doing the job and moaning, doesn’t help me at work or at coaching
R: Massive inaction

I am keen to turn this model around, but not able to decide what should my action be – to quit job and tell everyone I am going to learn to be a coach, or to just quit and say I am taking some time out to figure out things so I have some buffer? Wondering if you can help. Thanks!