Where do I start?

First, let me say I’m excited to be in Self Coaching Scholars and beginning this new year with hope. I love what I see so far so thank you.

My question or concern maybe is more like it, is where do I even begin. I’m going to try to keep this from being too long, but feel I need to give some background to help you understand where I stand at this moment. I am in Self Coaching Scholars because I am truly hoping that “this time” can be different for me. I am a 61 y/o woman with a lifelong history of making a mess of my life. There is no area of my life that I can say I’m happy or satisfied with at all. My health isn’t where I want it to be, I have 40+ pounds to lose with a life-long battle with weight, my finances are a disaster ($11k+ in debt, NO SAVINGS OR RETIREMENT to speak of, a constant stream of unsatisfying JOBS that are not even close to the work I should be doing, I have acquired 3 coaching certifications with no coaching practice or business to speak of, no significant relationship(s) and no social life. I share this not for sympathy, but more as a way of explaining why I don’t know where to even start with this work. Another important fact is that I like to quit and give up pretty easily and get overwhelmed and distracted real easy. I’ve heard you mention this already. I’m finding myself already “telling myself” things like “I shouldn’t be here, I can’t do this, I’ve tried so many times before why do I think this will be different, I can’t afford this am I nuts to be doing this, and on and on. So I’m aware of my thoughts and the fact that I self-sabotage everything good I’ve ever tried to do to change my life. At 61 y/o, there are the thoughts like, “I’ve missed my chance, it’s too late to bother now, what do you think you can accomplish at this point in life, you should be getting ready to retire not start over and on and on they go. So it’s truly obvious that my thoughts are not serving me and I get that. With all the classes, all on topics I need help with (except the drinking) I actually don’t have any issues with that at all. Wow! One area is working for me, let me acknowledge that one. I have had the desire to be a Life/Health “Coach” for at least 13 years, have wanted to do something meaningful with my life and the work I do and have wanted to do something on my own since in my 20’s. I feel as though, over time the spark/light that fueled all my dreams and desires has faded and now sometimes find it so difficult to grab onto it again. Yet, I’m here because there’s still a glimmer of hope, and a part of me that still hasn’t given up.
So there’s a long-winded question of “where should I start?” before I let myself down once again. I want to utilize the support here as I have none to very little in my life otherwise, so it’s pretty easy to give up on myself, which I do often. Thank you for listening and for your suggestions and support. How can I best utilize this program so that this time things can be different for me? And thank you for the work you are doing in the world. It is my desire to do something meaningful with my life and to find a way to help others in some way. xo