where to from here


I have no sex drive. I believe my doctors when they tell me this is because of my menopause hormone levels/other hormone issues I have had since my 20s. I do not want to have sex with other men, I also don’t want to have sex with my husband. In fact I don’t feel any desire at all to be intimate with anyone, or myself.
I have worked on this as a thought. Using my thoughts – focus on what I love, what is attractive – to generate a feeling of desire. The desire does not come.
Until recent months I have made the conscious effort (like put reminders in my calendar) to show affection to my husband. I did this, even doing the action and focusing on the thought of attraction, no desire came as a feeling.
I then decided to focus on my business and constrain my energy and attention to it. I have, it is paying off, kicking massive goals in that area thanks to SCS work in so many ways.
Now I am in a place where there is no intimacy. We have not really connected for months even to just talk. I work most nights, he watches tv and sleeps on the couch.
I feel how dangerous this place is. I don’t want to be here. But I also don’t want to ‘pretend’ any more, have ‘reminders’ to show affection that I don’t feel.
I feel like there is something wrong with me, so much self-talk that is not great.
I don’t know where to go from here and am hoping you have some advice.