Where to start/how to start.


Hi Brooke, I’m about to start SCS in April and I wanted to ask your advice about how to where should I start as I feel(think) there are several issues going on and I don’t know which one to start with or what would be the best way of doing this. Sorry this will be a lengthy post. I have the habit of overeating/bingeing and I’ve tried using one of the certified weight loss coaches and I did lose weight but I still overeat/binge hence I decided to keep going with the mindset work via SCS as I finished the program with her and I do believe this will work for me and I have made a lot of progress since starting working on my mindset. I tend to overate as I want to feel better/good, to buffer from my life or due to desire.

I’m just going to try and just state the facts about my past and not my thoughts as I know blaming past doesn’t help and all my actions are down to me and not my past so I’ll try my best – my parents both used to work 2 full time jobs, I was the youngest of 3 and when I was 5 years old, my parents would leave us in the house alone and tell us not to answer the door and hide if someone came to the door as we would get taken into care for being left alone in the house. I used to see my mum only before going to school and for one hour afterwards during the week and I never saw my dad till Sundays really. I overate as child as I felt pleasure when I overate certain foods or from overeating. There used to be regular disagreements between my parents. I was abused by older brother when I was 7 years old and I didn’t realise this till later on when I grew up. Before I realised, my parents were involved in a tax case despute. My mum told me to keep this a secret and not tell anyone. There were regular arguments in the house about the tax case. I never told my family about my brother as he was the oldest and I used to think the thought they need him during this time with the case and I don’t want to hurt my mum with this information. My dad beat my brother up one day for being cheeky to him. I came home from school one day to find out my dad had beat my mum up. My dad became involved in offboard dealings. The police would come every now and then to search the house etc. One day I came home from school to be told both my parents had been put in jail. Social work wanted to put me in care as I was minor but I didn’t go, I was 10/11 years old then. My mum was released on bail but my dad remained in jail. One of my dad’s friends and one of the workers tried to use this a chance to get the family business into their name. Later on the verdict was overturned in an appeal. My dad continued to be involved in these offboard things so the police were often coming to search the house. I was told to keep this secret from everyone. One day I came home from school to find out my mum and sister were held up in the house and money was stolen from us due to one of my dad’s acquaintances, I was teenager now.. My dad went to jail again later on in life when I was in my mid 20s. I’m from an Indian background so we were brought up in the culture to respect our parents and our parents would set us with potential life partners who we can date and then decide to marry. As my dad was in jail we delayed looking for my sister until he was released. My sister is older than me so my parents delayed looking for me until she was married. They have been looking for a partner for me since she got married when I turned 30. They have criteria they want met and there have not been many suitable people in the area I stay in. I have never had a boyfriend but I have been on dates. In my culture, some people have thoughts that once a girl is over 30 she’s too old and it’s hard to find them someone

So I have thoughts my life has always been full of pain, I’ll never be happy, I can’t find anyone to love me as I’m such a mess and I’m damaged, no one will want someone like me who has all these issues, I don’t know how to let people in, I don’t know why nothing good happens to me, God must be punishing me for something why else would my life be like this, I’m soo alone and I’ll be alone forever, I’m not lovable. I’ve practised and do feel grateful for my life as it made me really strong, determined, resilient and focussed like I have a successful career, did amazing at university, I always applied myself and got what I set out to achieve and I know I can overcome anything/handle anything and wouldn’t have been like this if it wasn’t for those experiences. But as I keep overeating, i do go back to my old thoughts about my life/past including thinking I’m not good enough, doing good enough, why can’t I stop this overeating, blaming and feeling shame over having this habit. This is the one thing in my life so far that I haven’t been able to achieve that I’ve set out too, I’ve been listening to podcasts, got life coached etc I keep trying but I haven’t been able to stop and I don’t know if it’s cause I’m just focusing on stopping overeating. I feel like I’m not in control of my life as I don’t want to upset my parents and go against culture but I do want to fall in love and be free to do whatever I want but it is expected of me to follow the Indian culture and live by their rules in their house until I get married and they have to approve of the person and because I haven’t been able to stop the overeating despite working it for a while now. I know I can do anything I want but I scared to leave home and find someone as I don’t trust people easily, my thoughts are either people who thought you could trust let you down including your own family, there’s no you can trust or rely on, I don’t want to lose my mum from my life and you need to protect yourself. I learnt or I’m still learning to not beat myself up now and I’m much better at this and I let go now quicker too, I try not to blame other people, situations or the food and know it’s down to me and I’m always responsible for my actions and it’s due to my thinking. I think I’m in the river of misery still with these 2 aspects. I’m trying to change my thoughts about my life, my parents, my family, my love life, my past, my overeating and me but the whole point of this long post was I wasn’t sure should I just focus on stopping the overeating, do the how to feel better course, how to take massive action – for finding a life partner (as I really want to fall in love and have kids one day but I’m scared of this and don’t think it’s possible) or should I just work on everything? I often think there’s too much to fix with you, you’ll never be able to change your overeating or your life

Please can you give me some guidance as I know my thoughts are responsible and I believe I can change my life and create anything I want to but I wanted to ask how to go about it since SCS has soo many things and I think I could benefit from numerous things on here. Thanks in advance and thanks for helping me with your podcasts, for teaching the life coach who helped me and giving out free webinars, they have always blown my mind and helped me and I want to change my life so I decided to jump into SCS as I know you can give me the tools and help me create the mindset that will allow me to create the life I want for myself