Which program works for this?

I am having an affair and I don’t want to be.

I’ve only just realized that the thoughts/emotions around this feel very similar to the stop overdrinking/overeating work I’ve done, and I might be able to apply those same tools to stop confidently, and ultimately trust myself more.

I’ve been entirely avoiding this work because of the embarrassment, shame, and guilt I feel. But too much of my energy is spent trying to make up for this in my day-to-day. So I work on my perfectionism, I set big career/money/weight loss goals and achieve them. I invest in my family and friendships and show up for the people around me. But none of it is enough because it feels like I’m just barely balancing the scales when I weigh what I’ve done.

What program do you think will work best for beginning this work? The urge jar felt like a good place to start, but I’d also like to better understand the thoughts that got me into this relationship/affair. I’d like to trust myself again.