I am a white woman who was in an antiracist-in-progress group with my sister-in-law and other white in-laws, meeting weekly for about a year and a half. Even though the group no longer meets, I can’t stop thinking about how my sister-in-law showed up (or didn’t) in that work. I have lots of thoughts about how and where she chooses to raise her white daughter, and I want to be free from thinking about her. Here are my models. I am looking for feedback on bridge models/thoughts to get to freedom around thinking about her actions and choices so I can focus on my own antiracist journey as I continue to unlearn my own internalized biases to live in integrity with myself and my values.

C: Sister in law says “I am antiracist,” but chooses to raise her white daughter in a community of wealthy white people
T: She’s the worst kind of “woke” white woman
F: Angry
A: Fixate on her
R: Don’t work on my own antiracist journey

C: Sister in law says “I am antiracist,” and chooses to raise her white daughter in a majority white community
T: Her actions don’t impact me; I can make different choices for my own children
F: Free
A: Examine my own internalized biases
R: Show up in the world with curiosity as I unlearn alongside my own children