I am looking as good as I ever have. My weight is under 250 — there is plenty of room to lose, but I have never looked better than I do now. I feel good. I am confident. Wearing sleeveless, can move around generally as good as I ever could. I am wearing a size 16 dress. I’ve never worn anything smaller — even at prom. I feel much better because of the mental shift I created. I want to lose 85 more lbs but I am looking around and seeing that I have established comfort here. I don’t really know why I need to continue. I would need to give this all up to move forward. I would need to become someone else. But I like this version of me.
What do I do now? I want to be small. I want to wear any clothing. I want to wear a size 8 or smaller. I want to be fit, athletic, “sculpted.”
I can see this identity crisis for what it is. I know I am exactly where I belong. What is next?