I am working on not being judgmental and have better communication with my husband.
Here is some recent dialog we had
Me “I want to go to the bank and the post office today”
Him “Do it tomorrow”
Me “I coach all day tomorrow”
Him “I don’t care If you are throwing up”
Immediately feel insulted and hated how he said this. Thought he doesn’t want me to go do these errands today for some reason but what about me??
Me “Why did you say that?
Him “why did you say what you said?
I waited and did not say anything
Then he responded “You aren’t coaching every minute of the day tomorrow there must be some time that you aren’t?”
I responded “I hope to have the energy to do that tomorrow, I may not”
He said “I do not want to uncover the car it might be raining out etc.
I said “ok”
Thought though it still would be better for me to do this today so I am not taxed tomorrow and I planned on doing it today for that reason. Also I am going to the bank for him, so I guess I do not need to do that for him today. It is not urgent. Will decide tomorrow if I can do those errands
Is my statement “I coach all day tomorrow” being judgmental and I do not know why he had to respond the way he did. Some advise, please. I know I can not make him say something differently…it is how he feels and wishes to communicate. I just get tired when he responds this way when we are conversing. He responds this way a lot and I do not want to react to “these kind” of statements. Though if I don’t respond somehow then nothing is communicated and I do not have an answer and I do not do what I want or need to do AND I am being controlled? Is this judgmental and not going with the flow? I do not think this is a boundaries situation it is just communication issues.
Thank you