Whole model in the C line


Hello coaches,

Since I joined Scholars in Sept 2021, I’ve become acutely aware of a whole model I have which is painful, gets in the way, and keeps repeating itself. It’s about self-doubt and comparisons with ‘what I should be doing’. I’ve tried hard to shift it, looking at it from different angles, but I’ve now decided (based on a coaching call I had on this) to put the whole model in the C line and start thinking of what I do with it.

Here are my 2 models based on this idea from this morning. Can you help me progress with my intentional model? I have specific questions in parentheses there.

Unintentional model
C: whole model I have (comparison with what I ‘should be / should be doing’ including self doubt / self attack)
T: I’m so annoyed at myself for attacking myself in this way! I should have got over this by now!
F: irritation at myself
A: resist these thoughts / feelings
annoyed thinking at myself each time they emerge
can lead to inaction / remaining stuck by waiting for these thoughts to change and THEN move to action
compare almost everything I do on a daily basis to ‘how it should be’ and then see myself as a failure
keep reinforcing that / repeating
R: I reinforce the model by continuing to act / feel / think from it

Intentional model
C: whole model I have (comparison with what I ‘should be / should be doing’ including self doubt / self attack)
T: A mind that believes these thoughts & feels these things (eg irritation and shame) would then do these things. Of course that makes sense.
F: reflective / aware (are these feelings? not quite sure)
A: accept the whole model (what does that look like in practice?)
remind myself that when my mind has believed something for a long time, of course it feels real
work on the things I want to do anyway
take care of myself (in a number of ways) anyway
what else???
how to give equal airtime for other models?? where to start?
R: I am aware of my model, give it space, but work on other models too (doesn’t feel inspiring)