Why do I binge on food until it actually hurts?

Hey there. I’m in a very vulnerable place today as I am processing probably the worst binge eating episode yet. I do want to point out that I do not have any weight problems whatsoever. I currently have 3 models.

MODEL 1: Before the binge:
C: birthday lunch. T: I went running this morning, my dress is loose, the number on the scale is OK, so I can treat myself, I can let myself go F: DISCONNECTED. A: binge for 8 hours straight, until I actually couldn’t stomach anything else. Estimated 6000 calories. R: I’m in pain that prevented me from standing up. Horrible night.

MODEL 2: During the binge:
C: Binge unfolding under my very eyes, end of lunch around 3pm. T: I can’t stop, no I can’t stop whenever I want, once it has started, it will go on until the end. F: POWERLESS. A: continue to the point of pain. R: binge episode not in alignment with who I want to be.

MODEL 3 : Today.
C: Binge yesterday. T: this is the worst episode yet, despite all the work I’ve been doing on myself, I still get to the worst places. WHY was that the WORST episode? Is my primitive brain trying to sabotage my work? Why am I getting WORSE instead of better? F: Perplexed, LOST. A: thought download, ask a coach, selected topic for my next private coaching call. R= LEARNING.

Thank you for your insight on these 3 models.

Hope to hear from you soon.