My mom is always concerned of what people say and she raised me the same way. So you can imagine that I lived in a constant fear of rejection. My amazing partner was telling me it doesn’t matter what people say or think. He has a true self confidence and I was always thinking that he was born with it, I am not and he is so lucky. Of course I knew that it doesn’t matter what people say but I didn’t feel it. You are the first person on Earth that explained it in the way I get it!
But it is just the beginning. When I heard about the dare of the day I was angry at you. I said to myself there is no way I can do this! So I wrote down the model and change the thought from ‘Brook wants me to feel humiliated’ to ‘Brooke knows what good for me to grow’. It helped me to challenge myself. So for few days I had black hole and my brain couldn’t think of any dare.
Life brought me a dare and I did it and it wasn’t a big deal after I did. While I was doing it I felt a hint of fear. I was happy that I did it but the next second my thought was: You are ridiculous, that was your dare? That was nothing, if you would tell others what was your dare they will laugh at you, you are not accomplishing anything. So I dared myself to post it here so you all can laugh at me. 🙂
My dare was to take an old wicker basket filled with jars and bed linen and carry it through the big city center in a tram and later on a train. I had to give it back to my parents. I always had a thought that this basket looks ugly and people will stare and laugh. Guess what? No one was paying attention to it. I was surprised and relieved. My assumptions was blocking me all this time!
I have been postponing this post for a few days. I was really scared that you all will laugh. Now when I am doing it this voice again is saying that what I do is not a big deal. How I can overcome that?