Dear Brooke,
I’m single (divorced 10 years ago) and live in my home town, where I feel like I already know everyone. I date occasionally but find it hard to meet anyone new who I really fall for. I’ve been in an on and off relationship for years with someone who I do some community projects with and we have similar work, and I really wish he wanted to commit to an exclusive relationship with me but he doesn’t. Mostly I’ve accepted that, and just know it’s never going to be what I want it to be, but keep allowing myself to fall back into flings with him. When we are ‘off’ I still see him because of the small community and our work network and we act as friends. I think I go back to him because I am lonely and am very attracted to him and we laugh a lot. Often it feels like we know each other better than anyone, like we are each others’ person. But I also cry sometimes after seeing him because it feels like I’m not good enough and even more so because I’m frustrated with myself for going back to the same rather sad and up and down emotional place with him. I want a partner who can truly love, adore, and respect me and who I love and adore and respect. Do I need to move away, or can I find my soulmate in my hometown? What actions do I take in order to let go of my emotional (and physical) attachment to the on and off guy and get to a more professional and respectful and platonic relationship, thus opening my heart to the possibility of meeting someone I really dig who wants the same type of committed and loving relationships that I want?

Thank you!!