You said to asks lots so I am!
My sister in UK has been called suddenly to hospital this week with heart problems. She’s been highly anxious and unsupported by family. I’ve been trying to help from Australia, by talking to her on the phone and relaying messages around the family. I’ve already had heart problems, so have some familiarity. But I felt fairly helpless and stressed.
At the same time a friend of mine has just had her sister try to commit suicide, and I’ve been supporting her on the phone too.
I was fine until this morning, when my sister came out of hospital and I finally drew breath, and suddenly felt emotionally exhausted, alone and unsupported myself.
At this moment, I realised the complete uselessness of buffering. What i actually needed was someone to chat to for a few minutes. It was interesting to note that I looked at all the things i could eat and didnt want any of them.
I did a few models around the situation and my asking for support, which was good.
How would you model the uselessness of buffering?