Withholding love so don’t enable another…thought error?


Thanks to the daily homework, I realized that I withhold love from my husband and kids (11 &8) when I see my perceived weaknesses in them because I don’t want to enable/ endorse/ condone this trait. Is that a thought error?

Instead maybe I should be choosing to love them unconditionally, feeling the negative emotion (I create this emotion by thinking their action is a weakness) & working to undo that thinking. Once my family feels nourished by me, then they will flourish……maybe? (Or is that me giving them manuals)

In regards to myself, when I notice a trait I deem a “weakness” I choose pleasure over joy and for the first time I’ve now equated that pleasure = buffering= not love, while joy = love and joy is one of the top 3 emotions I want more of in my life. So as I type, I’ve come full circle to see that choosing to love them unconditionally, despite the perceived weakness, simply allows me to feel joy by way of choosing to process the negative emotions brought up vs. buffering them away. Holy s*#! Love this & virtually you for bringing it into my life.

So any suggestions on how to go further and work on ways to put this into practice. How do I prep for choosing love over withholding bc either way I still process the negative emotion from my thoughts.