Woo Self Sabotage Help Please

Thank you so very much the coaching on my Purpose & Family. <3 “Start training your brain to look for evidence and ways that you can have connection, groundedness, a thriving business AND a great relationship with your kids and with yourself…. You’re teaching your mind to embrace a new confirmation bias…one that serves you.” I am going to embrace that practice. <3

I really want to fall in love with this process of creating my dreams – and not just the outcome and not just in the hurry for the outcome. I knew that was huge to my success as an athlete- I taught myself to love training and racing (and some of it I initially had a really hard time with and “hated”/dreaded) every bit as much as much as winning. I know it’s been essential to my art (even though I sometimes still fall off the wagon there), and I think it will be very powerful for me to take this approach with building my coaching business, too. So, here is what I am trying to love right now but instead am really frustrated and getting really anxious/out of sorts about…

One of the reasons I held back from launching a group program for so long was because I was intimidated by the tech side of things and I was worried I wouldn’t be organized enough and therefore, not professional and let things fall apart, disappoint clients, etc. I do not have this worry with 1:1 clients. I have never, ever dropped the ball on a meeting and, maybe I have and they’ve just never told me, but I aim to help my clients get amazing results and I think I do an awesome job of that (and always open to learning more and getting better, too). But with group coaching/online platform/marketing, the wheels would just come off my thinking… So, I decided to get over myself there, adopt a growth mindset and take on “Bring it on, I can learn and figure it out. These are things I want to learn and master – I’ll learn to love them or appreciate them and have confidence in these areas.”

So, I’m wondering if it can be a coincidence that within a week of announcing my group program, my computer crashed. Two days at the Apple store and up all night googling how to get everything back online later…and not fun but being a pro and a big girl so…onward.

Now, this week while I am still selling my program, emailing/selling like crazy, meeting with people in person to sell, setting up the platform etc – oh, and gave myself that $50K painting challenge this week as a combo delight to my creative self and also an “example of what is possible challenge… annnndddd…my email stops working. First nothing goes out – for days, and now nothing comes in either. I’ve spent the last two days on live chats and the phone with tech support, in between times trying to reach clients and prospective clients via other channels to let them know why they haven’t heard from me and why I’m not getting back to them, I don’t know what I’m not receiving, and this morning it’s almost noon and I’m still stumping all the tech people. And I planned to be painting this whole time. I do not want to not do what I said I was going to do, and I wanted to self coach in my journal and write here (as I’m waiting on hold again). I’ll send this and start painting the next time I’m hold.

Falling into a heap on the floor and crying is not an option – though part of me would like to, but what’s the point of that. I want to get to the other side of this and see this all the way through, get at least 25 people signed up for this program, meet my other goals for this coaching program, create a mind-blowing experience and results for the people who are signing up, make my target financial targets for Nov 1 and Dec 1…. and I know coaching can help me get a better stance on this experience, but where I am right now is…am I sabotaging myself with these tech blow-ups? (woo, I know, but….) and….
I still want to get my $50K art challenge and 25 super-stoked, enthusiastic enrollees for The Art School…I want to be an example of what is possible when you make a plan, things don’t go as planned, but you still get it done. But right now my thought process is stuck at, “How am I going to get all of this done??”

I am in a thought error rut right now! I think coaching from the outside will help me jar out of it…in the meantime, I’ll keep working while I feel like I still kind of want to throw up! Thank you. XOXO