Work Challenge – trouble hunting down my true thoughts


I’ve been running into a thought process at work that I’m having a hard time changing. I’m good at my job and have done well in getting promotions in the past 3 years. My manager and our executive team is supportive and I like them on a personal level, but it’s a very high pressure environment and there’s not a lot of room for error, therefore mistakes are looked down upon quite a bit. I don’t think that’s only my perception, it seems to be a little bit of our company culture. Whenever I either miss something/make a mistake or making a decision on an account (will keep this general so I don’t explain our whole business) that someone on the executive team doesn’t agree with or would have done differently I have a big sense of regret, doubt in my abilities, anxiety, and frustration. I’ve tried to model these feelings, but I’m having a hard time revealing the core thoughts. It’s the only situation I’ve had so far where I’ve not been able to really understand my thoughts – it’s almost like my brain is hiding them from myself, maybe because they’re so ingrained. I grew up with one of my parents really valuing academic achievement, so I feel like that framework I’ve always had for validating externally might be at play. Would like some feedback on how to get into thoughts that you’re having trouble revealing, general perspective, and maybe some new thoughts to try on!