My first year of SCS was all about feeling better. I felt very bad about my overdrinking – so I wanted to solve that to feel better. Once I did that, I wanted to start feeling better about myself, my business, my Mom, my relationship, my … well, everything. I wanted the “secret sauce” to just transcend my human experience of feeling bad. And even though a big “Ah-Ha” moment for me was your concept of “Half the time you’ll feel great and half the time you’ll feel like ass” … in the back of my mind, having this knowledge opened the door for me to TRANSCEND that 50%. And I did lots of work and I do feel much better.
But what’s been an interesting “ah-ha” for me now, about to start year #2, is that my new, deeper work is releasing the thought that there’s anything to transcend. That there’s anything wrong WITH feeling what I’m feeling. I think for so long, I’ve been neck-deep in self-help trying to either fix or change the ‘negative’ feelings – and all of the “Get Happier” books seemed to support my desire. Now I’m seeing that even armed with tools and strategies, my next layer is simply being okay with being a human being. I thought that if I really GOT the model “right”… if I practiced enough… if I did endless models… I’d still transcend my human experience. The 50/50 feeling model could be transcended IF you were a “model master”. Enlightenment was pure, 100% happiness – and everyone else could feel like ass half the time, not me. 😉
Now I see that there’s not only nothing to transcend, but the real peace is in being able to sit IN those feelings… to be able to lean in… not just as a point in the process so you can move on quickly to the fix … but to really see this is okay, I am okay, and this is just what we – as humans feel. Truthfully, sometimes good, sometimes ass. But all okay. Nothing to resist. Nothing to avoid. Nothing to transcend.
Obviously, there’s A LOT of practice to do. My mind still wants to react to negative emotions like a hand touching a hot stove. But I find myself, with work, being much more open and looking for opportunities to sit in these feelings when they come up. Not to model my way out of them. But just to connect with them so I can see that nothing has gone wrong here. Just a human having a human experience. Nothing wrong.
It’s funny. I was so focused on the concept of “overdrinking” last year – I didn’t REALLY get my drinking was a “symptom” and that the root of my addiction was simply trying to resist and distract myself from accepting my full human experience. This year – it feels like the work is about accepting it all and creating from within this more full, nothing-to-transcend space. The more work I do, the more work I see there is to do. 🙂
Just thought I’d share as I move into Year #2. Thank you for fanning the flames!