Hi there,
So I have a question about working the model backwards and if it could work the way I want it to. I want to have a breakthrough in my co parenting situation with my ex husband. I have struggled the past few years with resentment and anger towards someone who was abusive and continues to act in ways that are very challenging for me. I just had a thought that maybe I could handle the situation in the same way a person handles over eating… I want to control my temper around things he does and not react and yell… so I am trying to do the urge jar with yelling. I think the answer for me might be to get to a place where I just don’t care… like a person who just doesn’t want the chocolate cake. I want to not care so I don’t have to rely on willpower to control my temper.

so.. I want a model that looks like this… starting with the result line..

C – ex husband being himself …
T – I am a person who ….
F – self love
A – intentionally practice fierce self love – intentional practice an attitude of gratitude – meditate – self coach – get coached – coach in my practice – take care of self with exercise and healthy food – spend time with my friends and family – focus on my career – do not spiral in judgement – do not compare and despair –
R – to genuinely not feel resentful or angry towards my ex and his behavior.

So.. I have been practicing with the bridge thoughts…
I am learning to become a person who doesn’t get resentful when my ex does _______
I am growing and evolving into a person who doesn’t get angry and yell when my ex does _____________
I don’t even want to fill in the things he does because writing them down will trigger me…

But is this a doable thing to put in the R line… This is the breakthrough I really want to have… I think that if I can do this then I can do literally anything.

Any suggestions?

Thank you!