Works on Ep 151

Hi… Im going through the questions for episode 151 (self pity) and i would like to be clarified on some areas 🙂

By going through the questions one by one, ive discovered that my pattern is : have low self esteem, rely on other people for approval by trying to please them all, feel hurt/rejected when not get that approval thus i beat my self up which will then go back to having very low self esteem. And in a way for me to try to avoid the feeling of hurt & rejection, i try harder to please people, being careful of what i say and do so as not to hurt them so they will not hurt me back, or hide/do nothing afraid that i may do/say something they dont like and when they do not do things i expect them to do, i then feel hurt & rejected again and the cycle continues deeper and deeper.

And now, through the works in scholars, im learning that this are all caused by my thinking and that i have full control of what thought i choose to think. I do understand this intellectually but im having difficulty applying in this situation. I especially am having difficulty believing what i answered to #7 on overcoming self pity. My answers are: think thoughts that will boost my self confidence, do actions that will prove this even if i dont want to or im afraid to do so, enact being confident, have an attitude of learning instead of saying i dont know. These does not really resonate with me.

And even after answering questions #8-10 which reveals to me what can i gain when i dont indulge in self pity and what further actions i can do, i still cannot get myself into believing i can overcome self pity.

Any suggestions on how i can go about this? Thank you so much for all your good works