Worries over bad influences in my relationship


I’m struggling with an issue.

My boyfriend has made a new friend in the past 3 months. He’s a cool enough guy on the surface, they get along really well and work together. My issue is that, this new friend, Daniel, is currently divorced with 2 kids and dating a younger woman. That is not an issue to me within itself, but my boyfriend has let slip that Daniel has not told his ex-wife about his new girlfriend. Daniel and his wife separated 2 years ago and he has been dating his new girlfriend for almost about a year… so this seems ridiculous to me that he has hidden his girlfriend from his ex-wife. It seems really immature to me, and Daniel is 33 with two kids… he should be behaving better. That’s not even the worst part. My bf let slip the other week that Daniel had actually cheated on his current girlfriend with his ex-wife at least once (booty-call) and that Daniel is now unhappy in his current relationship and is “trying to get back with his ex-wife”. I’m honestly disgusted that he thinks that this is acceptable behavior while he is in a relationship. Daniel also goes to strip-clubs frequently as well.

My boyfriend has not done anything questionable in this regard — in other words, I don’t reeeeally think he’s likely to cheat on me and I haven’t found evidence to suggest that he would.

But I have noticed that some of the social media pages he follows occasionally sprinkle in suggestive content that makes me very uncomfortable. Basically, I’ll see a post every once in a while that makes jokes about having multiple girlfriends, or “cheating on your girl”. This kind of posting is not the main focus of these pages… It’s not like my bf means to stream this info into his brain, but I get really paranoid and insecure and uncomfortable when I think thoughts about my bf being surrounded by these negative influences. His close friend cheating and acting like he’s not at fault, and a couple posts joking about cheating are sending me over the edge into paranoia and insecurity that my bf will get ideas…

I know that I can’t control other people…. but this seems valid to me to worry about. On the other hand I know that I have a tendency to imagine worst case scenarios in the future, when they aren’t truths for me in the moment that I’m imagining them.

How can I overcome this constant paranoia about what influences my boyfriend is around, and what this could mean in the future?? I’m getting obsessively worried. Thanks!