worry about health 2

I have a medical appointment today and I’m very afraid of the diagnosis the doctor will give me.
This morning I was looking at my daughter and imagining we don’t have much time to spend together, as I was thinking I could discover I have a major disease and die in a few years. I guess I’m choosing to think that to prepare myself in case this is really bad.
I am processing worry, fear, and sadness as it comes and this is really helpful.
I also want to think it may be benign, to give the best-case scenario air time.

This was the model I experienced yesterday:
C – My appointment is tomorrow
T – I have nothing to do until then
F – relax
A – work, do what was planned, talk with friends, draw drawings
R – I enjoy my day

“What are those emotions here to teach you?” I can enjoy my time even if I’m worried before and after.

UM today

C – My appointment is today
T I’m afraid I will hear bad news
F fear
A picture myself in the worst case scenario, take the information I’ve heard or read to create this picture, Don’t follow my schedule
R I project in a made-up story of the worst case scenario

C – My appointment is today
T This will be a beautiful day with human emotions
F committed
A follow my schedule, work, have a coaching session, see what’s wonderful in my life, process the emotions, practice thoughts
R I enjoy my day

I observe I’m kind of dramatic: as if the perspective to hear bad news made me love my life and enjoy it on a new level.
Maybe it’s also good to stay neutral and not have ups and downs.

C – My appointment is today
T I experience human emotions
F neutral
A relativize, breathe, process my emotions
R I create a more stabilized mood

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