Worrying too much about other people´s opinion


Hello dear coaches!

I became Coach and a Podcaster 1.5 years ago. I love podcasting and I am proud that my podcast seems to help many people – I get a lot of positive feedback and thankful emails.

At the same time, becoming more “visible” means that sometimes I also get a few negative comments.

Of course, I am not everybody´s Darling and not everybody likes me. Totally fine.

I even tell myself that negative comments are a good sign, it shows that I am niching down and that I have a “philosophy” that people either like or they don´t.

Also, people discussing my work means that I am becoming more visible, which is great, too.

However, it seems my emotions do not reflect my thinking: when there are negative comments, I feel a sting. And if the comments are really harsh and my mood is rather low, it makes me want to cringe and hide.

Same goes for my newsletter: When people unsubscribe, I tell myself: “Hey, that´s great, it means I am coming closer to my ideal customer and I am cleaning out my list! So, good news!”

Intellectually, I really believe these thoughts and I am not “faking” them.

However, my subconscious might be thinking another thing.
Because to be honest, I feel pissed when people unsubscribe from my newsletter.

So the reason why I am writing you:
I would love to have the emotions corresponding to my thoughts.

Intellectually, I really “get it,” but emotionally it does not sink in. I feel hurt, I feel pissed, and sometimes it makes me want to give up.

Sometimes I fear that my sensitivity is my greatest obstacle, it hinders me to become REALLY visible. It makes me want to hide sometimes. And sometimes it is so painful, that I am really asking myself, why do I expose myself to all of this?

I could be living a quiet life and not be bothered by anyone. (of course these are the lower parts of my brain speaking and I am not believing them 😉)

Fortunately, I am too stubborn to give up that easily, but I would love to enjoy the process of being an online entrepreneur a little more and not worry so much about stupid little things.

Right now, I try to console myself with self-compassion and just observe my feelings.

But is this all I can do?

How can I make my emotions fit my thoughts?

Brooke says, you choose your emotions by choosing your thoughts, but what if you just won’t feel what you are thinking?

Thanks so much for your ideas and encouragement!