Hi Brooke & Team,
I have a relationship I’m working with and am having a hard time shifting my perspective around it. I’d love some idea’s on new thoughts.
My husband and I have these two friends who are a couple. We like to get together and do dinner and game nights and always do it at my house because there’s a lot more space. The only thing is that I always end up doing all the cooking and cleaning (which I don’t like). And since they don’t have space in their home it’s always on me. This time I said I’d make the fish and could they bring a salad? She said well, why don’t we just make those roasted vegetables instead of a salad.. which again means I’m making it at my place. She said since you’re going to the grocery store why don’t you just pick it all up, and I’ll just pay half. For me, I don’t mind paying but don’t like being the one always shopping, cooking, and cleaning. And when I ask for help, she declines in her own way. I guess I’m mostly mad at myself for not being clear in standing for what I want. But then I feel a sense of “should” cook because they’ve helped us with things from time to time. I know this is all WAY overly dramatic and I almost laugh as I read it, but it feels really intense inside. So here’s my start to a model…
Cir: Friends coming for dinner
Th: They never offer to help
A: move forward with resentment, complain, overthink
R: inauthentic connection/ negative energy
I would love help shifting this! Thank you so much <3