Hi Brooke,
I just had to throw this out there. I try to practice writing models every morning. What I’m finding as I write them is it leads me to another thought or a deeper thought and then I write another model on that. I could end up writing 4 or 5 models starting from one thought (the original model). I guess this is doing the work on myself. Here is what I learned about myself from my model work this morning.
My son is getting engaged tonight and then there will be a big family dinner with the new in-laws. My first model was about not telling what I think are funny anecdotal stories about my son to his new family. He is very sensitive and even if I don’t think he gets embarrassing he does and then he can get annoyed with me. So I wrote my first model on how I wouldn’t do that tonight. Well, as I wrote them I found out more and more about myself as to why I do this and what is the underlying reason..MORE MODELS. I ended up realizing I do this for attention and approval of others. I want them to think I’m attractive and nice, and a perfect mom etc.. and it all really comes back to me. I am basically using my son to sound funny and so they will like me. So then I thought why do I need the attention and approval?…MORE MODELS. In the end I figured out that it is so unnecessary for me to be seeking out this attention and approval because if I really think about it, it just doesn’t matter what people think of me. I already know I am confident in how I look and for the most part people usually like me. The bottom line is it just doesn’t matter anyway what they think. They are just not that important in my life and no matter what I do or say, I can’t be in their head to find out if I got the results out of them that I am seeking. I also realized that my son would be so much happier if I didn’t tell these stories and that I know would improve my relationship with him. This is not the first time I met these in-laws and I know he gets nervous around them and worries about what I might say even if I don’t think it’s inappropriate. It’s just not that important and certainly not at my son’s expense. TA DA! So interesting to keep pealing the layers!