Writing insecurity


I’m a freelance writer. Even though I’m not a native speaker, I write exclusively in English. This is a major source of brain drama for me. I have the thought that I need to edit my work extra carefully so that no one finds out that I’m not a native speaker. I’m afraid people will read my writing and think variations of the following: “This sounds like it was written by an ESL (English as a second language) student” or “That’s so weird how she used this sentence/word, she must be foreign.”

When I think these thoughts, feelings of shame creep up. I’m feeling shame even now as I write this! I’m fighting the urge to double-check and edit everything in case whoever is reading this is thinking “Yeah, it’s obvious that English isn’t her first language.” I think these thoughts myself and I’m projecting them onto other people.

The weird part is that I don’t think these thoughts when I’m speaking to people. I know my accent is difficult to place and sometimes I mispronounce words, but for some reason that doesn’t bother me as much. Unlike with writing, I don’t try to change my accent or make myself sound a certain way. So, I’m not sure what’s going on here?

I want to work on these thoughts because I’ve realized that they make my writing process extra tedious and anxiety-inducing. Would love some help. Thank you!!