Wrong Person


I believe I’m with the wrong person. Intellectually, I know that I decide that. But I don’t actually get it. Then on top of that I have all this self judgement because I’m with the wrong person. Like “you should’ve realized sooner that you didn’t want to be with someone who stays up all night and sleeps in all day. What were you thinking? There were signs this whole time ”. And then if he’s the wrong person then wouldn’t I just leave? But I don’t. I feel like I’ve had thoughts like this the entire relationship. But I was too afraid to break it off. Every time I did my brain would freak out and I’d just go back. (Not knowing about the model / brain patterns then). And now we have a baby together. So leaving is scarier because I don’t know what that would mean for me and or the baby. I guess I’m thinking I’ll be happier alone or with someone else. But I’m gonna assume that it’s gonna be 50/50 either way. So that leaves me not doing anything but spinning in “maybe I should go? Maybe I shouldn’t? I don’t know” then more self judgement for being in this position.