I am working to narrate my life as an adventure. I am living in my car. I am traveling in my car. And running a business. This is a dream life if you are coming from such a perspective.

I think about Xmas and I choose to deem last Xmas as awful. And this Xmas I think about what won’t be. It’s a passing thought – there are many.

I’m trying to adjust to living in my car and not knowing when I’ll create enough money to get a place again.

So all these thoughts are coming up, my self-worth feels tender, I feel tender. I’m just letting it be there.

I cannot control the circumstances, so I at least want to go into the next year narrating it the best way I can.

I don’t want a normal life, but I guess my idea of that was to always have a home and travel and have adventures and do what I love for work – I didn’t mean living in a car.

Obviously I’m doing models and thought downloads – lots of them….. anything to get deeper or to somehow believe in my life being an adventure and loving it somehow?