Yesterdays coaching & my boss


It was so helpful to watch the coaching yesterday. But the example of mother and daughter confused me. I called a friend to talk through the model. I couldnt wrap my head around a thought that would make it ok for a daughter to reject you or not like you… without it hurting you. My friend said: “not everyone is going to like you, and thats ok. Give permissiom to people to have their own preferences… a daughter does not “owe” you love. She is free to choose how she behaves and you are too. “ Ok, i get it. Are we allowed to still be hurt? Or is that also a result of how we think about things?

My Boss:

I have a history with my boss. (I feel like a 10 year old by sharing this but) i believe that he not only doesnt like me, but he thinks I’m incompanent. Our staff struggles with his critical nature. He is a perfectionist. (Yes these are all beliefs/thoughts… I know)

C: my boss says “if anyone is going to make (fill in error) it would be you”
T: my boss is an Ass, he thinks im a failure, incompetant etc and doesnt like me. He’s so passive aggressive.
F: Insecure, rejected, belittled, blame
A: withdraw and critical of self, take distance
R: believe i am failure, judge my boss

I know there are a few models in the above statement. But How do i allow my boss to be who he is: perfectionistic, OCD, and critical (i know these are all thoughts)… without wanting to stay away from him. I believe my boss doesnt like me and is constantly judging me.

C: my boss says “if anyone is going to make (fill in error) it would be you”
T: what is my thought????
F: Confident in who I am
A: able to laugh at his comment and show up as Me
R: my bosses beliefs/statements dont affect me