You identify the unintentional model…then what?

Using the model, I’m getting pretty good at identifying the thought behind my undesirable feelings, actions and results. When I come to my 20 minute coaching sessions I usually come having already identified the thought that I believe is not serving me, already recognizing the/a model at play on my topic, and having processed the emotion, or at least started to.

After my last few 20 minute coaching sessions, however, I’ve felt more confused and frustrated about the topic I’ve brought. My thought going in is, “I should be leaving the session with more clarity around this topic. I’m excited to talk to the coach.” But since the opposite happens I’ve identified the thought, “I must be doing it wrong.” “I don’t understand.”

So in really simple terms… once you identify that unintentional model…what happens next?

I understand the intentional model can be a tool. I’m pretty good at making an intentional model of how I WANT to think, feel, act, etc. But how does one get from unintentional model to actually believing the intentional model (knowing that the brain will offer evidence of why the intentional thought isn’t true.) How does one start believing thoughts that feel better and inspire more desirable action / results?

If it’s a ladder thought, I can appreciate that. How do you get to a ladder thought? When I’m “in it” (the topic I’m struggling with, that is) it’s hard to come up with a ladder thought on my own.

I’m observing myself thrash about a bit with the process and feeling kinda dumb for not “getting it.”

Thank you!