You say to feel your feelings when you’re angry but don’t REACT at the person, but what if your feeling is annoyance and frustration with your husband who is right there in the house with you?
I asked a question last week about how to change my thoughts when my husband yells at the kids, and it was very helpful, but i am struggling
C: Husband yells at kids for making a mess with slime.
T: I choose to see what they are doing as a science experiment and part of learning, so I think my husband is being unreasonable and selfish because I think he just wants to do what he wants to do (play on his phone etc) and not worry about cleaning up the mess with them.
F: Fear and sadness that my husband is killing their spirit, annoyance, me feeling like I wish i had a husband who would find joy in the things the kids do and see it the way i see it. Turned off, not wanting to be around him.
A: I am annoyed and it shows in my interactions with him. (you say to feel your feelings so I don’t want to resist them and annoyance is clearly there).
R: tense room, him asking me over and over again if I’m mad because I’m quiet, acting mad
Where i struggle is, you say to feel your feelings, you said once in a video that you were annoyed with how your husband was bathing the kids so you were irritated in the other room, and said that its ok to be irritated but you don’t have to react. I don’t understand how you can feel irritated but not let it SHOW to the other person though? my husband sees my annoyance and will ask me over and over again whats wrong, I assume you are saying to just feel annoyed somewhere else? but won’t that person feel manipulated, like you’re giving them the cold shoulder?
If I just wait until my feelings pass, he’s right there and senses my annoyance. i don’t know what to do. Do I leave the house every time I’m annoyed? but then isn’t THAT reacting and then my husband is mad and everyone is tense.