You suggested taking my one glass of wine during the dinner hour and breaking it into 2 smaller glasses with water in between. It worked great. After that second glass was done, I wanted more, but told myself no and immediately put on water for tea instead. I think this strategy is a good one for me. Thank you.
Today I gave myself permission to feel my feelings and I was surprised about what came up. My two kids are great and we are generally a happy, active family. Before the swim meet tonight, they need to finish the short list of tasks I wrote out for them. They’re dodging it, and they snuck away from me. I texted my husband my feelings and was totally surprised that I wrote this:
I am a slave. I am invisible. No one hears me. No one listens to me. No one remembers what I say. I am here to do everyone else’s shit work. I don’t matter.
These thoughts make me so sad, and it’s no wonder I want to drink when the time of day comes where I am cooking and cleaning for these ungrateful people and then I have to sit down and talk to them and act like I’m happy as can be. And then clean up after them!
I think if we can make some changes in our family workflow, I’ll be happier and less inclined to want to escape through alcohol.
Thank you for helping me figure this out.