escaping pain

Hi Brooke,
Tuesday night I successfully had an urge and did not answer it ( I put together a beautiful jar with a ribbon and 100 numbered paper slips to write on and put in) I also put in $5 for not drinking each day – to go towards a fancy new mountain bike helmet 🙂 I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote the most amazing things about how strong I am, confident of my future success, and 100% in charge of my brain. Felt great the next day, less bloating not headache, peaceful and proud. No plans to drink last night until… one little disagreement with my husband instantly sent me driving to the store to buy wine and pizza. I had a few moments of sadness knowing I would not get my urge sheet or $5 in my jar but did it zombie style AGAIN! first sip tasted horrible but I pressed on to drink 3/4 of the bottle- did not sleep good- guilt, etc bloated. Argghh – suggestions…again. ? I wish I could have my keys taken away, locked in my house, told I can’t purchase alcohol- stupid immature stuff like that. How exactly do I sit with pain especially when my whole life was trying to avoid it at all costs.Thanks!! xo