What if I am not in control of my social events?

Hi! I’m realizing that my main stressor around drinking is not being able to choose my social time completely myself since I am no longer single.  I inherited a group of friends with my marriage that are my husbands friends.  My husband loves them, and is a total extrovert.

I have a very different (non-small talk and chitter chatter) group of friends I enjoy/adore and who get that I’m an introvert and can only handle a certain amount of noise and togetherness.  His friends like drinking, not exercising, eating out all the time and doing group travel and so does he. When I’m with them for over a few hours, I feel trapped, get extremely bored and drink to numbness…..and I honestly I act like a bitchy ass, which compounds my shame about how I act in this this situation.

I’ve worked on being more curious with them, and that helps, but still the nicer I am, the more they persist on adding more time with them which my husband is passive about. Do you have a suggestion for this and how to keep it fair for both of us?

Thanks for this program! It’s my life preserver!