Self Sabotage – why do I do it to myself and can I break that behaviour?

Hi Brooke – I just started this program and am confident that it’s just what I am looking for. I just started three days ago, day one no problem,listened to first four videos and had five unanswered urges – didn’t fill out the form correctly – I just “ticked” them off, didn’t write down so have restarted that phase. My issue was – you offered guidance to someone who did not have a drink plan for that night but plans changed for her and she now wanted to drink. You told her to make the drink plan and stick to it – very sound advice that I immediately took to heart! I decided last night at supper I was going to drink – this was a very deliberate choice and I went downstairs and wrote out my drink plan which immediately went out the window as soon as I had my second glass of wine – 2 turned into 5. I got up this morning with the usual self-loathing and did fill out the “write it down, learn and move on” sheet. This was completely self sabotaging on my part – I knew what was going to happen as soon as I made that drink plan but I still let it happen, I knew writing down two glasses of wine wasn’t going to cut it and as soon as my husband asked if I was going to have a third I immediately said a definitive yes! Any advise???