About Page on the website I want to build

I want to develop a good about (landing) page for my coaching working nurses website I am developing for my impossible goal. My Niche client is a female working nurse, over 50, in southeastern Pennsylvania that wants to lose weight to become healthier. So on this page are my opening question, an introduction of myself, my offer, explanation of why I am who they are looking for, why I want to work with them and how I want to work with clients. Do you have any critiques for me about what I have written so far?

Are you a working nurse who wants to lose weight and have more energy?
Do these actions come naturally for you?
• To take care of others before yourself?
• To comfort yourself with food?
• To shut down when you get home from work?
• Not understand how everyone can lose weight but you?
• Not have enough energy for everything you need to do?

I was this nurse 8 years ago and answered yes to every one of these questions. I was 40 pounds overweight, recently diagnosed with breast cancer and dissatisfied with my 30-year nursing career. Then I changed my thinking. I beat my cancer, lost 40 pounds and enhanced my nursing skills by going back to school and getting an MSN at age 54. I gained enough energy and focus to achieve all this while raising my daughter and working full-time.

I am a working nurse who understands the unique challenges that block a healthy lifestyle for us: shift work, child care, work stressors, sporadic or non-existent meal times, mandatory overtime, restriction from healthy food choices, depressing patient conditions and physically exhausting work days.

I can help unlock the power in your brain to lose weight, gain energy, and become the nurse, mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend you want to be. I can show you how to overcome any obstacle to help you lose weight and gain energy. I have figured out to lose weight, maintain a healthy weight and become healthier; I am committed to helping others nurses get healthier too!

I love working with nurses, we are such powerful, loving women. Nurses can learn to do anything. Nurses have the skills to lead full, abundant lives while they work, raise families, and take care of themselves! I have seen my co-workers struggle to do this over the past 40 years and I now want to help nurses succeed at getting healthier.

I work with my nurse clients in one of three ways:
• Self-learning by reading the free material on this website
• Webinar classes about weight loss and how to grow your energy.
• 15 minute coaching sessions to apply the material to your specific situation. You can choose a phone call if you are uncomfortable in talking about your topic face-to-face or we can set up a video coaching call.

This structure allows you to work at your own pace and decide how much you want to invest in your health. The coaching will help you to understand the material in greater depth and specifically apply it to your situation.