I have a lot of mind drama about my business and how my revenue reduction this quarter means I’m failing, need to let go my employees, and possibly find another job to supplement my income. I’ve gotten in a habit of thinking in this negative thought loop and parts of me want to be with these thoughts and feelings, but the other feels like I’ve had enough indulging and just need to take action. I take action to generate revenue every day though, but since there is no revenue coming in, I have an urgency to make money and feel outsourcing employment and letting my business go is the answer. This makes me so sad to even think about. I haven’t taken a paycheck in several months, give all company profits to employee payroll, and am running on empty here ($0 generated in Nov) so at what point do I keep taking action for my business, versus take action finding a paying job?
I want to believe I can do this, I want to believe my business can succeed again, I want to believe money comes easily and frequently, but anytime I shift to surrendering, having fun, Staying open… these thoughts of losing it all come up.