Paid clients and a following

Impossible Goal: $100K in coaching business
I’ve made numerous attempts at creating a following over the years doing different types of coaching.

My brain dump from this morning:

I don’t think this is working. I’m all the way back at zero. 12 years and I haven’t managed to build a following. I talk. Crickets. Years of this shit. I spit wisdom online and people don’t interact with my original content. I’m sick of this. This is why I stopped the whole online space. Most of my paid clients have been people I met in person. I can only get clients from meeting them in person. I don’t believe I have what it takes to grow a following. I don’t even know if I want to grow a following. It’s validating, that’s for sure. Maybe people don’t want to interact with me because something about me is undesirable. They don’t want something about me. It’s self-esteem crushing to stay showing up and to have no one interact. This does not create paid clients. Silver lining: By keep showing up anyway I get to build some really big self-validation muscles.

My Desires:
– For my showing up and sharing, adding value, and being authentic to be enough.
– For me to not take it so personally when I don’t see the engagement results that I want
– To remove expectations of what a following should look like

Feedback please. Thanks.